the chocolate cake for breakfast, the two cups of coffee, the uninhibited practicing of spanish, the time spent with an acquaintance resulting in friendship, the unexpected hand-me-downs, the cheap purchase of a peruvian ring, the yellow beans that settled well, the new-found capacity to read books…
it’s all produced today’s contentment. what a relief! yesterday and the day before beckoned contentment’s enemy: complete dissatisfaction.
living with myself for all my life, i’ve unfortunately found out a bit about myself. while the me of today has found people very inspirational, the me of two days past was saying (somewhat verbally but much more mentally), all is not right with the world, nobody’s capable of anything and neither am i.
but today. today’s a breath of clean air in this polluted kingdom of precious souls. and the more important contributions have been these: prayer, humility, and trust.
i haven’t been as prayerful in the past three years as i have been here, and i can’t applaud myself ‘cause i’m a natural-born slacker. but i haven’t been able to ignore the nearness of God and the truth He spoke in scripture and the truth He still speaks. through people, through nature, through all of my senses. He is the Light and the Hope. the power of His name has boggled my mind, even the demons have fled.
i can’t trust in myself, my moods are lush green hills and deep sea caverns. i’ve never met a perfect person and my worry sometimes cripples me. but the simplest answer and the most fulfilling one has been my choice to trust in God, in Christ Jesus, in the Holy Spirit.
i want nothing more than to know God and for others to know Him too.
